S3E22: Don’t Be Afraid of Your Admissions Essays!
Today's question of the week: "Why do college admissions take courage?”
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Today's question of the week: “Why do college admissions take courage?"
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Summary:
In this episode of the Admittedly Podcast, host Thomas Caleel emphasizes the critical role of courage in crafting standout college application essays. Drawing from his experience reviewing thousands of essays, Thomas shares insights into why authentic, bold storytelling is essential for making an impression on admissions officers. He discusses how vulnerability, self-awareness, and owning your unique story can set applicants apart in a sea of polished but impersonal submissions.
Key Takeaways:
Courage Over Conformity:
Avoid mimicking “successful essays” found online. Let your unique voice and personal experiences guide your storytelling.Own Your Story:
Don’t soft-sell your accomplishments. Showcase your successes and challenges with pride and authenticity, focusing on what drives you.Embrace Vulnerability:
Essays should be personal, sometimes uncomfortable to write, as they offer a glimpse into your motivations, character, and growth.Be Fearlessly Honest:
Share your lived experiences—even failures—and how they shaped you. This honesty resonates with admissions officers seeking genuine insight into applicants.Not Every School Will Say Yes—And That’s Okay:
A bold essay might not appeal to every institution, but it will connect with the schools that are the best fit for you.
Conclusion:
College essays are an opportunity to share your authentic self and connect with schools that align with your story. Be brave, bold, and unafraid to show your vulnerability. For more guidance and inspiration, follow Thomas on Instagram and TikTok at @admittedlyco.
Have your own question you want answered? Leave us a comment on social media for a chance to be featured.
About Thomas Caleel:
Thomas is an alumnus of the University of Pennsylvania. After earning his MBA at the Wharton School of Business in 2003, he moved to Silicon Valley. For three years, he was Director of MBA Admissions and Financial Aid at Wharton. He worked closely with admissions professionals, students, alumni, and professors to curate the best possible MBA class. Thomas has been an entrepreneur his entire life in the fields of finance, agriculture, wellness, and sporting goods. As the founder of Global Education Opportunities LLC, he works as a high-level admissions advisor to help families and students achieve their education goals. Thomas started the podcast Admittedly because he is passionate about demystifying the application process for all parents and applicants.
Related Links
Apply to be a guest: www.thomascaleel.com/apply-for-podcast
Follow Admittedly on Social Media
TikTok: @admittedlypodcast
Instagram: @admittedlypodcast
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Hello and welcome to the Admittedly Podcast. Today, we're going to talk about courage, specifically as it applies to writing essays.
Now, I've been working with families for close to twenty years, and I've read hundreds of thousands of essays at this point. A lot of times, I read essays from my students, and these are students I've worked with for several years. I've prepared them. We've done a lot of work together. And so yes, there's some roughness in the essays and some strategy issues, and we do a lot of planning. But the essays that I see are generally well prepared when I first get them, right?
So that allows us to work from a certain baseline. But about two years ago, when we opened our essay review service, we got hit with a flood of essays, just a flood of essays from all over the world. It’s been very interesting for me to look at these and read these through with my team because it’s a very different approach to writing. What we’re seeing here are some very clear themes.
If I had to distill it down to the one most important thing that we need to address for essay writing, it would be courage. Courage resonates all through the admissions process, right? But particularly in the essays. What do I mean by this?
What I mean is that a lot of students, very well-meaning, when they decide to write their essays, they go on the internet—click, click, click—and they, you know, search for successful essays. What happens is they start to calibrate toward that essay or essays that they're reading. A lot of times, my students will ask me, "Hey, can you send me examples of successful essays?" And I refuse. I refuse because of this: when you're looking for examples, your brain subconsciously adjusts your style to that example.
So what happens a lot of times is they end up muting their voice. We've had several examples of students who have done incredible things, groundbreaking things that really, really set them apart, but they're soft-selling it. Now, it’s very important when you are writing an essay, you’re not jumping up on top of the desk and yelling and, you know, pounding your chest, "I’m so great," right? But you need to take pride, and you need to take ownership of what you have accomplished. Soft-selling does not work.
You need to own your triumphs. You need to own your mistakes and really kind of say, as a mature, thoughtful young person, "Hey, this was my experience. This is what I accomplished. This is how I accomplished it," right? Because we’re showing what we’ve done, what we’ve learned, and how we relate it outward. But if you soft-sell, if you don’t have the courage to step into your power and own your accomplishment, it’s very hard for that lesson to resonate.
If you have done something trailblazing, for example, I want you to think about why you did that, why that matters. We had a student recently that we worked with who was the first to break a gender barrier in a very, very long-standing tradition. The initial essay that we got focused on all these other issues, right? And really gave no sense of why they did that. Why did they decide to challenge convention? Why did they decide to take advantage of their right to participate? They were soft-selling it.
So what we helped them do is step into owning that. Why did you do that? What were the other students around you that came along with you for this adventure? Why did they come? How did you act as a leader in that capacity? What were the challenges that you faced? What were the successes? What were your wins?
It was just this really interesting transformation of this essay because it went from a detached, "This is what I did," to this tale of self-growth and self-empowerment: "I chose to do this because of this. I wasn’t trying to make a statement. I wanted to take advantage of an opportunity. I wanted to do things on my own terms." That elevated this essay into one of the most compelling pieces of writing I have ever seen.
I want you to step back, and I want you to think about things that you have done that have required courage. They don’t need to be major things. They can be small things. But I want you to be fearless in writing. I want you to put yourself out there.
One of the things I always tell parents is: Do not be upset if your child doesn’t want to share their essays with you. In many cases, I have had to, for my students, hold the parents at bay and say, "You need to trust me. You need to trust this process." If your child feels like you are looking at their essays and judging them on their essays, they will not be able to be fully honest.
It’s very rare that a teenager can share their innermost thoughts with their parents. I’m a parent. I get it. My children do not share all their innermost thoughts with me, and I like to think I have a very good relationship with my children. But it’s the nature of growing up, finding that independence.
Your essays, if you’re doing them correctly, should be uncomfortable. They should be personal. They should be something that you sometimes don’t even want to share, maybe even with a friend. Because it’s showing a vulnerability of yourself. I’m not talking about trauma-informed writing—if that is part of your story, okay, that’s fine, that’s to you, and certainly, you can share these if you want. But these essays should be a personal glimpse into who you are, your motivation, your soul, your character.
The admissions officer should look at this and say, "Okay, I’ve learned a lot more about this person because of this vulnerability, because of this self-awareness." Vulnerability does not mean weakness. Vulnerability, in this sense, means that you are comfortable and confident enough to really open up and discuss your motivations, your fears, your successes. "I did this, and I was nervous to do this because of this. But this is how I overcame this—or didn’t."
It could be an essay about a time that you were not successful and you failed. Then you’re analyzing, "Okay, what happened? How did that make me feel? How did I learn from that failure? And how have I demonstrated going forward that I have not let that happen again?"
Courage, in this setting, means a lot of things. But what I’m telling you now, students, is: Be brave. Be bold. You are not going to stand out by telling the same story as everyone else. You are not going to stand out by muting your voice.
Listen, the reality is that not every school is going to respond to your vulnerability, to your voice, to your courage. You can tell your story in the most beautiful way possible, and schools are still going to deny you. That’s a fact of life. You are not for everyone in this world, and that’s okay.
It’s very important to keep that in mind. What are we looking for? We’re looking for one yes, and we’re looking for one yes from that school that resonates with you. If you are sharing the honesty of your story, if you have the courage to put yourself out there and tell your full story in your own words, from your own perspective, it will resonate with that school that fits you best. It’s a scary thing to do. I get it.
If you have questions, reach out. Hit us up in the comments, send us DMs. I deal every day with DMs from students and comments from students who are saying, "I don’t know, like, should I put myself out there like that?" And to me, the answer is yes.
A well-constructed, deeply personal essay about something that you have done, something you’ve accomplished, or a failure that you’ve undergone resonates. It resonates with admissions officers because they’re reading the same overproduced, timid, hesitant essays from so many people that look good, that hit all the talking points, that look like the essay that you found on Google. But that is not you. That is not your lived experience. That is not your voice.
In the end, it’s going to blunt your impact. Will you get into some schools? Of course you will, because you’ve planned ahead. You’ve got the academics, you’ve got the extracurricular activities. But you are going to definitely miss opportunities at your dream schools because you have not shown your full self in this process.
I am here to help you through this process. I am here to help guide you through this process. I hope that just hearing that it’s okay to be courageous, to take that risk, is helpful to you and that it inspires you to really think differently about your essays and put yourself out there in a new and different way.
Thank you for listening. Please continue to follow us on @admittedlyco on Instagram and TikTok. Love your comments, love your engagement, and let’s do this together. Thank you.
