S3E21: Why (and How) You Should Plan Ahead
Today's question of the week: "How do I plan ahead for college admissions?”
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Today's question of the week: “How do I plan ahead for college admissions?"
SHOW NOTES
Summary
In this episode, Thomas provides a detailed roadmap for parents to support their children throughout high school to maximize success in the college admissions process. Addressing each high school year individually, Thomas highlights how intentional planning, academic focus, and extracurricular depth can set students apart. This episode equips parents with practical strategies to guide their children while allowing them to explore and pursue their authentic passions.
Key Takeaways
Start Freshman Year with Intentional Foundations
Focus on acclimating to high school, building study habits, and exploring interests.
Establish a strong academic base, as grades from freshman year are critical for long-term success.
Prioritize Academic Support and Adaptation
Ensure your child gets extra help when needed, whether through tutoring, peer support, or teacher engagement.
Early identification and accommodation of learning differences can be crucial, especially for standardized testing.
Sophomore Year: Focus and Refine Interests
Narrow extracurricular activities to a few key areas that align with your child’s passions.
Encourage deeper involvement outside of school activities to help them stand out in competitive applicant pools.
Junior Year: Academic Excellence and Strategic Planning
Junior year is the time to excel academically; grades here are particularly impactful.
Begin standardized test preparation early and be consistent with practice.
Engage with college counselors and begin crafting a well-balanced college list.
Leverage Summer Opportunities Thoughtfully
Summers should involve meaningful activities like internships, academic programs, or work experience.
Activities should demonstrate initiative, leadership, and alignment with academic or personal interests.
Empower Authentic Interests
Encourage students to explore what they genuinely love without overly managing their path.
Admissions officers value self-awareness and authentic passion over highly curated resumes.
Prepare for the Application Process Early
Start data entry for applications over the summer and identify key narratives for essays.
Foster relationships with teachers and counselors to ensure strong recommendation letters.
Conclusion:
Planning ahead is the foundation of a successful college admissions journey. By fostering your child's authentic interests, focusing on strategic choices, and supporting their academic and extracurricular growth, you can help them navigate this process with confidence. For more tips and guidance, follow Thomas on Instagram and TikTok at @admittedlyco.
Have your own question you want answered? Leave us a comment on social media for a chance to be featured.
About Thomas Caleel:
Thomas is an alumnus of the University of Pennsylvania. After earning his MBA at the Wharton School of Business in 2003, he moved to Silicon Valley. For three years, he was Director of MBA Admissions and Financial Aid at Wharton. He worked closely with admissions professionals, students, alumni, and professors to curate the best possible MBA class. Thomas has been an entrepreneur his entire life in the fields of finance, agriculture, wellness, and sporting goods. As the founder of Global Education Opportunities LLC, he works as a high-level admissions advisor to help families and students achieve their education goals. Thomas started the podcast Admittedly because he is passionate about demystifying the application process for all parents and applicants.
Related Links
Apply to be a guest: www.thomascaleel.com/apply-for-podcast
Follow Admittedly on Social Media
TikTok: @admittedlypodcast
Instagram: @admittedlypodcast
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Hello and welcome to the Admittedly podcast. I'm your host, Thomas Caleel, and today we're going to be talking about planning ahead. It's a subject that is constantly top of mind for many, many of our listeners, and something I get a lot of questions about in our DMs and our comments. And so I wanted to address it head-on here.
This podcast, yes, is going to be useful to students, but it's primarily directed at parents. And before we get into this, I want to kind of frame and put things in context. I'm a parent. I have three children, one of them at boarding school, two of them at home. We are constantly feeling like we are Uber drivers and air traffic controllers. I know that it's not easy. Like you, I am taking phone calls on the way to practices, sitting in the stands at swim, frantically typing out emails between heats, and doing the best I can as a parent to devote time to growing, nurturing my children, my spouse, my business, and everything else.
So I know, parents, that when I tell you, "Hey, you know, when you're thinking about college, you do need to plan ahead, you do need to take steps," it sounds like another thing on your plate. But nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, if you invest a little bit of time upfront and take the time, the discipline, to plan ahead, you're doing a couple of things.
Number one, you are alleviating quite a bit of pressure and stress later in your child's high school career, and you are also setting them up for much greater success. What do I mean by that? Well, I talk to a lot of parents, and they'll say, "Okay, my child is a junior. It's, you know, mid-year, it's January, February. So what can we do this summer and get them into Harvard?" And I'm like, "Okay, well, let's look at what we've done previously. Let's look back at the previous summers, at extracurricular activities, at academic choices." And what we see is this very disjointed, non-strategic approach.
And so at that point, we're scrambling, right? At that point, we have to say, "Okay, we need to take what's been done and see if we can make the best possible story out of this." And it's heartbreaking sometimes because you see these young people with such potential, they're so bright, they have so much potential, but they've really just, because of lack of guidance, not maximized their opportunities, not been able to distinguish themselves. And that's going to be the difference between getting into an Ivy Plus and, let's say, a top 50 school, right?
Because we're dealing with degrees here, just the most subtle degrees. When you have schools that have, you know, acceptance rates under 5%, the difference between a successful and unsuccessful student is—you could count that in nanometers, right? Very, very fine distinctions, very fine slices. And often, it's the difference between a thoughtful, strategic approach and this kind of ad hoc, "Let's see what happens when we get there" approach.
Now, keep in mind, I am also here not advocating for an aggressive, you know, Tiger-parent approach, where your children are so micromanaged that they fail to be able to think for themselves. And I also see this with students. So I will sometimes get students whose parents have over-managed their process, and they've done so with the best intentions. But what they've done is they've listened to their peers, right? So they listened to this parent, this parent, this parent, and they say, "Oh, well, this student got into Stanford doing this. That's what you're doing." They start early.
And these children are so over-curated, right, that when you read their application, number one, you can see it's clear that this has all been highly orchestrated. But the real danger here is that, because they're not listening to their child and following their child's interest, the child has no voice of their own. So the student sits down to write the essays, and you say, "Okay, well, tell us about your passions. Tell us about why you made this choice," and they stare at you blankly because, quite frankly, they didn't make the choice.
And there's nothing underlying there. There's no determination, no passion, no independence there, and it's almost impossible for them to write a compelling essay. And that's where you get these very kind of sterile, slick essays that are very surface-level, that don't deal with the student's emotions and personality at all. And that is immediately evident to an admissions officer, right?
So when I say plan ahead, right, I'm going to be talking about freshman, sophomore, and junior year, because planning ahead looks different for each of them. And I'm going to take you through each, and we're going to talk about academics, extracurriculars, summer activities, most importantly. And look, I know I'm from California. I know that this sounds very California, but there's a lot of introspection that needs to go into this process, both from the parents and the students.
Okay, I have realistic expectations, by the way. So most adults that I know still are doing that introspective work, or if they're not, they should be, right? Trying to figure out, "Okay, how do I know what I like to do? What is my purpose? What is my path?"
And when we're talking to a 14-year-old, a freshman or sophomore, about what they want to do, what they think interests them, that can be a very confusing and overwhelming conversation. So the first thing I want to do is pull everybody back and say, "Listen, we are not asking you what you want to be for the rest of your life."
I had a conversation yesterday with one of my students, a sophomore, a really bright, interesting young lady, and she's very confused right now, right? She just doesn't know. She knows generally what she likes. And I had to convince her, you know, "That's okay, right? So let's talk about the fact that you like writing. Great. Tell me what writing means to you. How do you use writing? What kind of writing do you like to do? What kind of writing do you do for classes? What kind of writing do you do personally?"
And so it's that process of kind of pulling these threads apart and asking them, in general, "What is it that interests you?" Is it—we've had paleontologists, we've had astronomers, we've had chefs, we've had bakers, we've had mathematicians, we've had people very interested in their community, food security, equality, around access to housing, these things, right?
Your children, right, do have opinions. And I know sometimes it's hard as a parent. This is really, really important, okay? You know, look, I'm a normal parent. I pick up my children after school. Some days they want to talk. Other days, no matter what I ask them, no matter how many parenting podcasts I listen to about good questions to ask your child after a day at school, I get very monosyllabic answers, right? That's the joy of being a parent.
And so don't be concerned if your child's not willing to open up to you, all right? It's a phase. It's not a phase—I don't mean to disregard it—it's that phase of development that they're going through. And so sometimes it's very helpful to have a neutral third party who can help kind of pull that apart a little bit and give that student a safe space to explore those thoughts, right? "What am I interested in, right? And how do we build a portfolio, an interesting portfolio around that, so that when we get to university applications, we're like, 'Okay, great, we know what you're interested in.'"
And look how cool the opportunities are at this particular university. Look at this professor doing this amazing research. Look at this center that's doing this incredible work out, you know, in this community of scholars and individuals that you really, really want to be a part of, right? And that's heartbreaking to me when we're doing the school research, and the student just absolutely connects with the school and is like, "This is everything I want from my education," and where we have to say, "You know, look, unfortunately, we're going to apply. But the reality is that this is not—you haven't put yourself in a position to be competitive."
So, parents, what are we talking about here? So first of all, freshman year, all right? Freshman year, what we want to do is we really want to look—I'm going to say, "Listen, this is a big transition for you from middle school. And so let's just take this first term, right, this first fall term, and get you comfortable with this new environment, right? New friends, new social dynamics, a whole new way of having to study, right?"
That handoff from middle school to high school, where your teachers are holding you to a higher standard, sometimes you're being graded on a curve, there's more competition in the classroom—that's hard. That's an adjustment. So we don't want to have them hit the ground freshman year with this whole list of to-dos, right? Their to-dos are to go and acclimatize themselves to this new environment.
Now, we do want to keep a close eye on academics, right? So back in the dinosaur ages, when I was in high school, there was kind of like that—you know, that you got some leeway your freshman year, right? A little stumble first semester freshman year, and everybody said, "Yeah, okay, fine. It's just an adjustment. No problem." That does not exist anymore. But most importantly, you're building an academic foundation for the rest of their high school career.
So it is absolutely imperative that you keep an eye on the academics. If they need tutoring, if they need extra help, you need to support them to get it, and you need to nudge them to get it. Okay, and I get a lot of heat and comments about this: "Well, you shouldn't need tutors. You should learn. You know, if you're in a class that you need tutors for, you're clearly in a class that's too advanced." And I could not agree more.
Okay, I've been an athlete my whole life, and I have participated on an international level in sports. And at every level, at every step of the way, I've had a coach. I still have a coach who trains me, who helps me keep in shape. It helps me keep my best foot forward in my life. You know, I have a therapist that I talk to, to help work through issues. I have a business coach that I talk to, to help work through issues in growing my business, understanding new modalities of my business, and new spaces that we're trying to get into. I believe very firmly that coaching is a sign of strength.
Tutoring is a sign of strength—the ability to reach out and say, "Hey, listen, I need help understanding this. I need help to perform at my highest level," right? That's one of the reasons you're listening to this podcast. That's one of the reasons you, I hope, follow me on social media, because you are receiving and digesting this information and saying, "Okay, how do I as a parent perform my best and give my best to my child?"
Because we're parents—we want the best for our children. We want them to be successful. We want them to be happy. And so a big component of that, of course, is this concept of supporting them. So one of the things freshman year—you want to make sure that they do not crash and burn on their first set of midterms. It's very important. It's very important, first, for their confidence. Second, because it forms this base, this grade base, for their freshman year, right? Very hard to recover from a C.
And third, because everything in high school, right, it's additive. It builds on itself. And so if we kind of just barely skate by, and we have a weak foundation freshman year, that will come crashing down junior year. And that is not a position you want to be in, especially when you are preparing to apply to colleges.
The other thing, parents, that you want to do—and full caveat here, I am not a medical professional in any way—but I’ve been working with families now for nearly 20 years, and this is very important: keep an eye on your child, right? There are learning issues that sometimes are hidden all the way up until high school, but the rigor of high school brings them out. Pay attention to that.
If your child needs extra support, if your child needs some help in understanding how they process information and learn, please get them that help, right? You do not get extra points for slogging through this solo. If your child needs an IEP, if your child needs accommodations, get them early. You also need to get them early because, if you want accommodations for standardized testing, the standardized testing agencies will look at your IEP. They will look at the accommodations your child has received in their high school. And if you’re scrambling to put all this together junior year, more often than not, the standardized testing agencies will just say, "Hey, listen, we just can’t grant this accommodation."
And now you’ve really, really put your child at a disadvantage, and it’s very discouraging to them. So this is an instance specifically where planning ahead is very, very important, okay?
In terms of extracurriculars, freshman year is a year when you can experiment and explore. They should be joining clubs. They should be getting involved in athletics, if that’s their thing. They should be getting more involved with things outside of school. Whatever it is that your child enjoys doing, let them go deeper into that, right?
Freshman summer is certainly a summer where you have the opportunity to explore. So that’s where you could do an academic program. It could be simply getting a job—hosting at a restaurant, scooping ice cream, or just all those great summer things. But we want to do it over time, right? You want to be doing at least four to six weeks of activity there. You want to make sure that they’re balanced so that they are spending time with the family.
I love seeing my kids over the summer and spending that quality family time together, right? But you can’t travel, for example, for four weeks and then go to a summer academic program for two weeks and feel satisfied with that. That is going to really disadvantage your child when it comes time to apply. And I get it—I know, I hear what I’m saying, I understand what I’m saying—but that’s the reality, right?
And so one of the things we need to do is really start thinking about, "Okay, the actions I have today, the actions I take today, will resonate in my child’s future for the rest of their lives." You know, I’m sorry to put that on your shoulders, but that’s the truth.
Now, when I say that, I mean the skills, the tenacity, the grit that you develop in them, and the activities that they do, right? So there’s an absolutely great path to them going to their local state university and then going on to graduate school and being very successful in their life. I am not in any way saying that going to an Ivy Plus is the be-all, end-all goal for everyone, and it’s no guarantee of success or happiness in your life.
However, if you are aiming at a top school—and let’s be realistic, right?—state schools are becoming increasingly competitive, and for the top programs in the state schools, it is an absolute dog fight. So simply saying, "Oh, well, let’s just see what happens. We can always go to a state school," sure. But there are levels of state schools, and you want your child to go to the best possible state school. So you do need to plan ahead.
All right, so that’s freshman year. You’ve formed a base. You’ve put good studying habits in place. Maybe you have a tutor initially to develop good studying habits, teach effective note-taking, show them how to study. I know, from personal experience, my son went off to boarding school. His first set of exams was not what it should have been. He just didn’t know how to study for exams. I had gotten him some help; he didn’t really know how to take advantage of that.
So I’m not in any way claiming that I am infallible or perfect. I’ve made my mistakes as a parent, but we addressed that head-on. For those of you who are saying, "Look, I can’t afford fancy tutors," no worries. You can use Khan Academy, you can use peer tutoring, you can definitely reach out to your teachers. It’s very rare that a teacher does not want to engage with a properly motivated, sincere student who’s trying to learn, right? They love that. That’s what they live for.
You know, find a third party. Find a neutral third party—it could be me, right? Point your child to my Instagram or my TikTok and have them engage, right? Follow, because there are also a lot of good things in the comments. And thank you to all of you who are participating in the comments. There are a lot of great things in the comments where they can learn from other students, right? Peer learning is so effective in this case.
But you want to build out that roadmap. The roadmap is really important. Sitting down freshman year and saying, "Okay, how do I plan ahead? What do these next four years look like?" We’re not chiseling this into stone, right? But having a strategic roadmap is very helpful.
You want to think ahead. Think about, "How will I react when this happens?" so that we are not surprised when it happens, right? And we want to focus on the things we can control. So we don’t want to get anxious and stressed about the things we cannot control, but we do want to focus on the things, relentlessly, that we can control.
We want to listen to our children. We want to hear from them. "Okay, what is it that I enjoy doing?" Now we’ve gotten through freshman summer, and now we’re moving on to sophomore year. So what do we want to do in sophomore year?
Well, first of all, the workload and intensity generally doubles from freshman year, and all my sophomore students kind of come to me wide-eyed and say, "Wow, this is so much harder," and they are absolutely right. So again, we want to keep an eye on that first term. We want to make sure that they are excelling in their classes, that they are successful in the classroom, and that they’re getting the support that they need.
We cannot have, just like in freshman year, a bad first set of midterms, and we really just need to get out ahead of that. Now, by sophomore year, in terms of extracurricular activities, what we need to do is start to refine, right? So freshman year, it’s fine to have a lot of different interests. You’re exploring things, you’re trying things. Here, we want to narrow our list, okay?
The all-rounder who’s doing 10 things—you’re missing that depth of interest and engagement that’s going to help you in the admissions process. But more than that, you’re just diluting your efforts, right? So you’re doing a lot of things kind of, you know, patchwork, kind of well, when it’s much better to be doing a few things really well. Because that’s how you’re going to make a difference. That’s how you’re going to make an impact, and that’s how you’re really going to engage.
So this is a point where you start to winnow that down and say, "Okay, this is what matters to me, and this is where I’m going to start to spend my time." Very importantly, if you are just doing things at school, if you’re just doing the clubs that are offered at school and sports—for highly selective schools, that’s really just not enough.
I know how that sounds. I know you don’t want to hear me say that, but it’s the truth, right? So this is where a lot of parents get frustrated, right? And we hear, "But my child did everything right!" And you’re right, you know what? They did great. They were editor of the school newspaper, they were captain of the football team, they did all the right things. But the problem that we have at this point is that they’re not distinguishing themselves in a very competitive pool.
And I always go back to this number, and it’s 20,000. There are about 20,000 high schools in the US, right? We’re not even talking about the international schools, okay? We’re just talking about the US. So whatever it is that they’re doing at their school, there are 20,000 other students who are graduating with that exact same credential, right? Think about that—20,000 newspaper editors, 20,000 sports captains, 20,000 debate captains, 20,000 leads in the school play.
And so, yes, they can be exceptional. Like, if your school has a nationally recognized drama program and they get the lead in the school play, okay, that will distinguish them, right? But otherwise, it’s very difficult to distinguish yourself if you’re just cooking with the same list of ingredients as everybody else.
So what universities are looking for here is that you go outside of that. And I get a lot of heat for this, but I want you to think about it from the school’s perspective, right? If you come to me and say, "I really want to be a writer, okay? It’s something that keeps me up at night. It’s something I love. It’s something that is integral to who I am," the school, I think, rightly says, "Okay, great. Well, tell us about your experience writing."
And if you say, "Well, you know, I write papers for school, and I’m editor of the school paper, and I put a piece in the school writing journal, poetry journal," right? The response is, "Okay, great. Well done. I’m glad that you found that. I’m glad that’s working for you." But it’s not unique, right? Versus a student who goes out and hustles and finds a way to write and contribute materials to blogs or online news sources or the local newspaper or even a national newspaper, who is attending writing workshops, who is even attending like an online writing support group and is trying to self-publish things and, you know, hustle, and can even say, "I submitted poetry to 200 online poetry journals and got published once, but it taught me a lot about tenacity. I got some good feedback on my writing, and I really feel like I’ve matured as a writer," right? That’s great experience.
So what we want is that thing that really sparks interest in your student. Now, some of you might say, "Okay, well, that’s great, but you know, my child needs to work. My child needs to do other things after school," and that’s fine as well.
Now what I would argue is, let’s say that you have to work and you love to write—we’re going to keep using this writing example—go work at a bookstore, right? And while you’re at the bookstore, don’t just do your required job, right? But see if there are opportunities to reach out and host writers, right? Find writers that you like. Contact them. Contact their agents. "Hey, are you coming through my town? Would you be willing to do a live book signing, an event? Would you be willing to do a remote, like a webinar type thing for young writers," or however you want to frame it, right? So that you’re taking initiative and doing something different and unique.
This is setting you up to have this interesting base, because sophomore year is really where you can start to engage and dig in on your extracurricular activities, and it should be part of your strategic map. Sophomore summer is very important. Here is where you’re kind of refining and narrowing in on what it is that you want to do.
You can do an academic program, but it should be more advanced, right? Or, ideally, you’re getting out and you’re creating opportunity for yourself, whether it’s work, whether it’s an internship—whatever it is, it’s something that shows, "Hey, I hustled, and I did something kind of cool here." It doesn’t have to be what you want to do for the rest of your life. In fact, you could do that internship or that work experience and realize, "This is not what I want to do. This is not what I want to be." Knowing what you do not want is just as important as knowing what you do want.
And I want to keep this in mind, right? You really need to be aware of that fact. So we get through that summer, and we’re heading into junior year.
So for junior year, what do we need to think about? Well, junior year is where everything comes together. Like sophomore year, the workload pretty much doubles. It is ferocious. So you need to be aware of that, and you need to be very supportive of your child at this point because they’re going to be overwhelmed. They also understand that junior year grades really, really matter. All the grades matter, but junior year is a time when there’s nowhere to hide, right? This needs to just be their flat-out best performance.
They’re usually at this point in advanced courses. If they’re in an AP curriculum and haven’t taken AP courses already, this might be their first introduction to them. If they’re in IB, this is where things really kick into gear. Same thing with A-levels. So we need to make sure that their academic support is 100% in place and that they are set up for success.
But they’re also in positions now with their extracurricular activities where they are usually one step off of senior leadership, right? They have real responsibilities. They have commitments. At this point over sophomore year, they have winnowed their list of extracurricular activities so that there are a couple of things that they are doing really, really well, and they need to go deep into that.
This is not the time to be juggling a million things. This is a time to really focus and go deep. This is a time where you’re setting yourself up, right? You’re really evidencing your intellectual curiosity, your leadership potential, all of the things that go into junior year.
Okay, this is where you can make some final cuts on your activity list. If you need to drop something, you need to do it now. Carrying an extra thing just because you feel bad walking away is not an effective strategy, and it will get you in trouble later.
All right, if you have not started studying for your standardized tests over this past summer, you need to start doing that now. That’s very, very important. Standardized testing is not an intelligence test. It is a pain-threshold test. You need to practice, practice, practice, practice.
Do not think you’re going to sign up for some big general course, take that in two weeks, and get a 1550 SAT. That’s not how this works. This is about consistency over time. So spending an hour, a couple of hours a week, maybe half an hour a day, practicing, practicing. There are so many online opportunities here, free tutors, things like that. Take advantage of those.
All right, junior year you also want to, in the first half, get adjusted. But around November of your junior year, you start to get notified that you will be getting your college counselors soon, right? Usually in January, the schools assign the college counselors. So at this point, over, say, Thanksgiving, you want to start thinking about a potential school list. You want to look clear-eyed at your grades. You want to look at your extracurricular activities, and you want to start thinking about, "Okay, how do I think about schools, right? How do I think about my school list?"
When you meet with your school counselor, I want you to keep something in mind. The school counselors are wonderful human beings. They are overworked, they are underpaid, and they genuinely care about you, right? But they work for the school, and sometimes you need to advocate for yourself. Sometimes you need to step up and say, "No, I want to apply here."
But you also need to respect their feedback. And if they say to you, "Listen, I know you want to go to Yale, but we’ve got 20 other students that are applying to Yale, and quite frankly, they have better grades and are in a better position. So maybe you want to do your early action or early decision elsewhere," you need to respect that, right? Because optimism is great, but a lottery ticket is a very bad strategy when it comes to applying.
So when you meet your counselor, it’s helpful to have—if they don’t have an intake form—a brief overview: a resume, a couple of paragraphs about who you are and what you want to accomplish. The more information you give them, the better they’ll be able to support you, and the better recommendation they’ll be able to write in your senior year.
Right now, you’re seeing the seniors panicking and stressed, but you’re kind of cool at this point because—why? You’ve planned ahead, right? And now we’re able to look and say, "Okay, I have made these intentional choices. Those intentional choices have led me here, and those intentional choices are positioning me for what’s coming."
Over spring break your junior year, it’s a great idea to go and visit schools if you’re able to, right? Or spend the time visiting them remotely. Start to get a sense of, "Okay, what do I like? What do I not like?" I want you to think about macro issues: size, location. Do I want a big research university, a small teaching college? These are really important parts of your experience, right?
And the key word here is "your." And I’m talking to students. What is your experience, right? This is where you’re going to spend the next four years of your life. Parents, there are obviously financial considerations, distance considerations, all of those things. And those certainly need to be part of the matrix, right? But the general day-to-day lifestyle issues, really, you know, that’s important for your children, for the students to step forward and say, "Hey, this is what I want." And then you can overlay your priorities on top of that. Ideally, you all can find a happy ground, right?
But you can see where, if you get to this stage and you’re trying to select a school list, and you haven’t been thoughtful and you haven’t planned ahead, now you’re scrambling, right? You don’t really know what you want to study. You don’t know what your academic interest is. You don’t really have a through line to your extracurriculars. And now you’re all over the place, and you’re trying to look backwards and say, "Okay, how do I make sense of this jumbled mess of different things that are all kind of going in a million different directions?"
And I know—I hear from a lot of parents saying, "Well, it’s really hard. My child has a lot of interests." And I get that. I really, really do, right? And we don’t want to discourage them from curiosity and exploration. But I think it’s also very important for us to, you know, to have our children realize, whether it’s using me to tell them this, or you communicate this, or a sibling or a teacher or a counselor to communicate, "Hey, listen, we need to focus on core values of what you like to do, right? What is it that really interests you, and how do we help you go in that direction?"
Because I’ve talked at length about how "undecided" is not a successful path for applying, and that has not changed. You need to show thoughtfulness. You need to evidence self-awareness, that you’ve really carefully considered this investment of the next four years of your life.
So that’s junior year. Going into junior summer—this is it, right? Junior summer, you need to really dig in. You should be performing at your very best. Whatever it is that you’re pursuing over the summer, you should be in the strongest possible position in terms of leadership. If you’re doing something like SSP or a summer program, that you’ve done the work, you’ve proven your academics, and you’ve finally been admitted to something of that caliber, then you just go, and you do your utmost best.
Have fun. Spend time with your friends, definitely. Parents, make sure that your children are enjoying their summer, but it’s also time to work hard, right? Whatever it is that they’re doing, they need to excel, and they need to dig in.
Now, as we head into the summer, you can start to do data entry on the Common Application. The Common Application resets and opens again on August 1. It will save your data, and then you can start on August 1. But in terms of planning ahead, you know your activities. You know why you’ve done them. You have the priority list. So as you move into that, right, you are able to now map out strategically these very important things like, "What is your strategy on the application? What are you talking about in the essays? What is your school list? How are you determining your early action, early decision strategy?"
You’ve been very thoughtful in approaching your recommenders. And I’ve talked about this before. You’ve approached them. You’ve given them the materials they need. They know you because you’ve developed a relationship with them over the past year, if you’re a junior, and they’re very happy to write that recommendation for you.
So what I hope you can see, right? What I hope you’re able to see is that planning ahead is critical, right? It’s like anything. If you want to be a top athlete, you don’t just take it ad hoc. You look at where you want to go. You look at other people who have been successful. You look at what you need based on your strengths and your weaknesses, right? You work with a coach, and you get there, right?
Nobody is making the MLS or the NFL or the NBA just by going and doing things on their own, right? You need guidance. You need mentors. You need people who can give you honest feedback that you can take action on to become the best version of yourself.
So, parents, I am here to help you through this process. I am here to help you with this strategic roadmap so that you are not trying to navigate alone. Because I know how busy you are. I know how overwhelming this can seem. I know sometimes it’s easier just to let your child kind of go down the path that their friends are going down, and it seems like they’re really engaged because they’re doing all these things at school. But really, you know, we have to, as parents, step back and say, "Okay, it’s our responsibility to help guide our children," right?
Even if you went to an Ivy Plus or did not, right, times have changed. So when you applied to school, things are very, very, very different now. And so it’s very important for you to assess the landscape, to understand what you need to do, to listen to your child, right? Figure out what it is that truly engages them. Because when you then have done all this planning and you get to the final stage, yes, the application process is daunting, and it’s difficult no matter what you’ve done, right? But you have everything you need, right?
You have everything you need to now go into the things I talk about in terms of being strategic, allocating your strategy and your voice. And when your children are writing these essays, right, they can be bold. They can be unafraid. They can use their own authentic voice, right, and talk about why this matters to them—not why this matters in general, not why this is an important subject, but why they care about it, why they want to do what they say they want to do. And most importantly, they have the evidence to back it up.
So I welcome all of you, no matter if you are the parents of eighth graders, freshmen, sophomores, or juniors, to come along with me on this journey. My goal here is to help remove a lot of the stress and anxiety, to give you a firm, clear roadmap of what to expect so that you can make the decisions that are best for your child, yourself, and your family.
Thank you for listening. Remember to follow us @admittedlyco on TikTok and Instagram. I welcome your comments. It’s one of the things that is really a very unique part of my engagement with my audience. So please keep them coming—DMs, comments on our posts—and I look forward to continuing this conversation with you over the next few years. Thank you.
