S2E14: Why To Avoid Talking About Family in Common App Essays
In this episode, Thomas Caleel delves into a compelling topic that ignited discussions on social media – the role of family narratives in Common Application essays.
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Question of the Week: Should I talk about my family in my Common App essay?
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In this episode, Thomas Caleel delves into a compelling topic that ignited discussions on social media – the role of family narratives in Common Application essays.
While Thomas generally advises against extensive discussion of family in essays, he recognizes the nuances that surround this choice. He acknowledges scenarios where family involvement can enhance an essay, such as being part of a family business or undertaking caregiving responsibilities.
However, he underscores the importance of maintaining a personal focus and avoiding excessive emphasis on family aspects, as these narratives tend to become homogenized and may lose their impact.
About Thomas
Thomas is a parent and alumnus of the University of Pennsylvania. After earning his MBA at the Wharton School in 2003, he moved to Silicon Valley. For three years, he was director of admissions and financial aid at Wharton School. He worked closely with admissions professionals, students, alumni, and professors to create the best possible MBA class.
Thomas has been an entrepreneur his entire life in the fields of finance, agriculture, wellness, and sporting goods. As the founder of Global Education Opportunities, he works with diverse and underserved communities to help them become successful college students. Thomas started the podcast Admittedly because he is passionate about demystifying the application process for parents and applicants.
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Hello, and welcome to the admittedly podcast. I'm your host, Thomas Caleel. Today's question of the week has to do with something I talked about on social media that blew up and I want to address it a little more deeply.
It has to do with talking about family, in your common application essays. In general, I advise students to not talk about their family in the Common App essay or the supplemental essays. And there were a lot of questions on that and a lot of pushback.
And so I want to break that down a little bit further. Are there times in which talking about family can be effective and good? Of course, if for example, you have to work to support your family, or if you are involved in a family business, let's say running a family, grocery store, family, dry cleaning, business, family, real estate business, for example, then certainly, it's something that we can talk about, we want to remember not to keep the focus on the family or the business, this is about you. Right, or if for example, part of your after-school responsibilities involves taking care of family members, you know, having to pitch in and help or taking care of multiple generations of family members.
So these are all very important things if you're a caregiver to a parent, or grandparent or sibling, for example. So these are all good examples. But what we want to be really careful of is that 1000s and 1000s and 1000s of applicants will write essays about their families. And, you know, I don't want this to sound in any way dismissive, or callous in any regard. But a lot of these essays end up looking very much the same. It's not to trivialize in any way the applicant's experience or what they felt.
But the essays become very similar. And, as an admissions officer, after you've read hundreds or 1000s of these, they start to blur together, and you really lose that sense of uniqueness for the candidates. So especially when we think about essays and ask about a hero or an idol, writing about your grandparents or your parents, there are very, very, very specific, very rare instances in which that could be effective.
But really, you know, we want to challenge you to think outside of your immediate environment, we want to challenge you to broaden your horizon, right? So if you've been out in the world if you've been interacting with people, if you've been involved heavily in a sport or an activity, who are people you see that are inspiring and why are they inspiring to you? Are they inspiring because of their ability? Right? Are they somebody who is inspiring to you, because they're using their visibility and and renown or celebrity or position to advocate for those weaker or less fortunate than they are? Are they somebody who has been through a similar experience? And who's taken a stand, and maybe you're trying to emulate that?
So I really encourage you to think outside of the family, right? We love our families, and there's so much to be proud of in our families. And certainly, you know, as we look at the struggles and life story of our grandparents, great grandparents, parents, there's a lot there.
And we think about the love and the nurturing that they've poured into us, or even negative examples, in some cases, right? I don't want to presume that everybody has this, you know, has this Norman Rockwell childhood, so there are certainly negative examples, but I think that it becomes personal, a little too personal when we're writing an essay and it's hard to separate right ourselves and the impact of the message from this complex family dynamic.
So certainly all for family, but they may not be the best choice for you in an essay.
