S2E20: How To Write a WINNING Common App Essay. Answering Your Questions
In today's episode we are delving into the questions pouring in our vibrant social media community, filled with students from across the globe.
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On today's episode, we are delving into the questions pouring in from our vibrant social media community, filled with students from across the globe.
Interacting with you all has been one of the most rewarding aspects of this journey, and the questions you bring are incredibly thoughtful and relevant to the college application process.
So, today, we'll explore recurring themes and specific questions I've received, aiming to shed light on this collective learning experience.
Key Points:
The Illusion of Sparkling Essays: Often, schools showcase exceptional essays as examples, but they tend to select the "sparkly" ones, those with extraordinary stories. What's lost is the beauty of intimate personal narratives. The most captivating essays are those reflecting deep self-awareness and candid introspection.
The Pitfall of Emulation: Many applicants try to replicate these "sparkly" essays by inflating ordinary experiences. Authenticity and depth are key. Overstating your achievements can be transparent to admissions officers.
Passion Projects vs. Depth of Involvement: Avoid the trend of superficial "passion projects." Admissions officers seek candidates with a sustained and meaningful commitment to their endeavors, demonstrating genuine expertise and dedication.
Addressing Learning Disabilities: While it's essential to acknowledge challenges like learning disabilities, the focus should be on how you overcame them and the impact on your growth and contributions, not just the adversity itself.
Cultural Norms and Religion: These can be valuable aspects of your identity, but they need to extend beyond mere descriptions. Showcase how they inform your actions, values, and contributions, especially within a university setting.
Conclusion:
In the ever-evolving world of college applications, remember that authenticity, depth, and the ability to connect your experiences to meaningful growth are the keys to crafting compelling essays. Don't chase the illusion of "sparkly" essays or fall into the trap of emulating others. Instead, embrace your unique journey, whether it involves overcoming challenges, expressing your passions, or finding inspiration in your cultural background. As application deadlines approach, stay true to yourself, and good luck in your academic endeavors!
About Thomas
Thomas is a parent and alumnus of the University of Pennsylvania. After earning his MBA at the Wharton School in 2003, he moved to Silicon Valley. For three years, he was director of admissions and financial aid at Wharton School. He worked closely with admissions professionals, students, alumni, and professors to create the best possible MBA class.
Thomas has been an entrepreneur his entire life in the fields of finance, agriculture, wellness, and sporting goods. As the founder of Global Education Opportunities, he works with diverse and underserved communities to help them become successful college students. Thomas started the podcast Admittedly because he is passionate about demystifying the application process for parents and applicants.
Related Links
Apply to be a guest: www.thomascaleel.com/apply-for-podcast
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Welcome to the admittedly podcast. I'm your host, Thomas Caleel. And today we're going to talk about the questions that we've been receiving on our social media. One of the best parts of this adventure, for me at least, has been the interaction I've been able to have with students from around the world, on our social media, tik tok, and Instagram, we just get great questions, we get very thoughtful questions, we have students who are coming to us and really kind of trying to figure out where they are at different parts of the application process.
So today, we're going to talk about some recurring themes that we've seen and some specific questions that I've received. And hopefully, we can all learn from this experience. So somebody mentioned the other day, talking about essays that worked because we are in peak as a season right now and people are starting to panic a little bit.
And I know that a lot of you will go to Google and Google, you know, essays that worked. And apparently, Johns Hopkins posted some essays that they felt were good examples. One of the things I don't like about this, of course, is that when a school posts successful essays, when you see people posting, their essays, a couple of things.
Number one, the school is going to pick what I call the sparkly ones, the sparkly essays, right? The ones that you look at and you say, Wow, that person is going to Johns Hopkins or that specific university, they must be very impressive and the school is doing that, obviously, for a reason to say look at the great students that we're attracting, and there's nothing nefarious here, it's just, you know, they're advertising how fortunate they are to attract these incredible students. But what we lose sight of is the fact that the vast majority of students do not have crazy stories to tell, right? They have intimate personal stories to tell.
And that for me, is the most interesting as a write an essay that is not about some earth-changing thing that the student has done, but rather a really self-aware and candid introspection and reflection on themselves, because that's where you get to know the student, right, that's where we dig in. And we really get a sense of who they are and what they've accomplished. And what we see with these sparkly essays, for example, is that students tried to emulate them.
But what happens is, then they take small events in their life and try and inflate them, I'll give you a great example, received an essay on our essay review service, about this student who was on YouTube and building a website and doing these things. And as I'm reading it, right, all these all my red flag indicators are going off. And the reason for that is, when somebody does something for real, there's an authenticity of voice, there is a voice of experience, it's informed. They're not trying to oversell you because they've done the hard work.
So I made a list of the people that the student name-checked, and the websites that they named, checked, and I went and I looked, and sure enough, couldn't find the YouTube channel. The website was literally a placeholder kind of website with some generic clip, you know, graphics, and photos.
And so, you know, my instincts there were 100% Correct. And what I really object to is this trend of the passion project because it really encourages, it's encouraging students to do these kinds of half measures, right, put up a website, start a charity, raise a couple $100. And you miss depth, right? And, as an admissions officer, what I'm looking for, if I'm an admissions officer is the depth of involvement, I really want to see that you pursued something and were relentless at it and built a following or credential or credibility or activity, you know, over the years, over time, that you really, really got in there, and you know, what you're talking about, and I know that it seems to you and maybe it seems to your parents or your English teacher who's reading it, that you've done a good job, and maybe kind of like, you know, sliding the mirrors around a little bit.
But when your comparative set is maybe, you know, 10 or 20, or even 100 essays, it's nothing compared to the 10s of 1000s of essays that admissions officers are reading, and they very quickly can tell when things don't add up. And keep in mind too, they're not going to do the work to Google things. So you know, I out of intellectual curiosity just wanted to gut check myself, you know, see if I was on target there. I went and did the work and googled and it turned out that I was right.
So This essay, which we're going to give a lot of feedback on, but this essay in particular looking at, you say, okay, you know, there is something here that does not add up. And so how do we reframe that? Right? So given that there hasn't been a lot done around that, a couple of things, number one, you know, we would encourage the student to go in and kick that into high gear, right? Get some things going reach out to other clubs, reach out to other students get some involvement. You know, there's not much we can do about the YouTube channel, because that looks like it's been effectively shut down. But we can talk about the creative process, we can talk about how many viewers and views they had, how they built that audience, why that was important to them, etc. Right. And, again, I think the important thing here is not overstating.
So yes. Are there applicants that have YouTube channels that generate, you know, hundreds of 1000s? if not millions of dollars in revenue? Absolutely. Do they have, you know, hundreds of 1000s, or millions of followers? Absolutely. And what I always try and tell applicants is don't compete with them. Right? This isn't a competition of who has the most views, who has the most followers who's generated the most revenue is really about you and your actions, right? What have you done? In your own context? Have you done it to the best of your ability, right? Because if somebody gets a viral video, yes, there's a lot of talent in there.
But also, there's a lot of luck, there are a lot of algorithms and things that you have no control over. And so we don't want to take away from those applicants who have been immensely successful at what they do. But we also want to be aware that, you know the normal student is making a difference on their own in their own universe and in their own way.
So what else? What other questions Have we gotten? Well, we've gotten a lot of questions about learning disabilities, right, and how I overcome a learning disability. And I think we have to be very careful with this. Because when we're talking about issues, I know that I sound, I can sound cold and callous about this. And this is absolutely not my intention, right? So on the one hand, my heart goes out to the students who have dealt with learning disabilities, divorce, serious illness in the family, a death in the family, right? These are traumatic events and we don't in any way want to downplay them.
But we also want to realize that there are a lot of students who have experienced this trauma in their own way, right, or this challenge in their own way. And so we need to really drill down and talk about how it affected us as an applicant. Right? So yes, a learning disability is significant. But we want to think about is okay. Is this something that, for example, found out I had a learning disability, maybe a little bit late my grades were suffering, went got diagnosed, got medication, or therapy, got accommodations from the school, look, my grades turned around. Right now I'm doing really well. That, to me, is a story for the additional information essay.
And when I say additional information, I say, that should be a statement of facts, right? Not to take away anything from the struggle that you went through from the difficulties or challenges you faced. But there are a large number of applicants, right, who have faced a learning disability and have dealt with that. And so it's very important not to, for lack of a better word oversell that, you don't want to be in a position where you are overdramatizing it and bringing too much into it, you can state that as a recitation of facts and the additional information session, a section essay. Now, if you have a learning disability, and for example, your school doesn't offer accommodations, and so you lead a campaign to change that policy. Right? If you involve other students, you know, gathered support, you work with the administration, you put new protocols in place, and you change the culture of the school, for example, then that might be a common FSA, right?
Because that shows initiative tenacity, drive, change, leadership, teamwork, all of those things, right? And remember again, it's not just about you. So how did you involve other students? Do you have, for example, an advisory board or you know, vice presidents and things in this organization? Have you created mechanisms that you can hand this off when you leave, right or when you leave? Does this all crumble into dust? These are very, very important things that we need to talk about in our essay because it distinguishes the quote-unquote, a passion project. Oh, look, you know, I built a website, I read is 500 or 1000 or $2,000, depending on your socio-economic demographic for this cause.
And I built a sustainable organization, I tied it into similar organizations across the state country, world, regional high schools, whatever it is, right? That's a very, very different story. Same thing with, let's say, an illness or a death in the family. You know, I see a lot of essays where it starts with this big dramatic arc about how they get the news, they can hear the clock ticking on the wall. You know, they were devastated.
And yes, absolutely true to hear that a parent is, has a potentially fatal illness to lose a loved one is, gutting, right? We never wish that on anybody. And that that is profound. And it is traumatic, and especially at this point in your life, it can be very overwhelming. However, we want to just kind of address that factually. Right. You can just state if you just state, that my mother was diagnosed with cancer in the spring of my sophomore year. That's enough, right? We know what that entails. Okay. Now talk about, you know, talk about how you react right?
And don't just jump to the part where everything was, you know, you were helping with the family and taking over responsibilities, right? You can talk about your journey, their confusion, how you dealt with that, how you managed with that. manage that? Did you reach out to other people? Did you seek help? How did you process this? Right? And then how did it change you? Right, not just doing more chores and taking on more responsibilities. But did you get involved with other groups? Did you somehow change your extracurricular activities or your activities, did you suddenly because this was maybe a breadwinner in the House have you had to shift and start working to help support the family? Right, these are all things that distinguish a story that the admissions officer has heard hundreds of 1000s of times, from your story that the admissions officer has never heard before. And these are very, very important details. And obviously, there's a very fine line between talking about your experience and trauma dumping.
And I think it's very important to hold that line, right, we don't want to be trying to process and using this as therapy, right, we want to have progressed through that. And get to a point where we can be self-worth about things. Now. We also see a lot of questions around, well, growing through reading books, or growing through watching a sibling and you unfortunately, this is very difficult, because these are very passive things. Right. And so if you are, for example, a writer and you're a creative writing major then maybe books, and writing is definitely a vehicle through which you can express your growth.
And I think that's something where even maybe we start reading. And we start, you know, we start with the reading and how we're identifying with characters and authors, and then progressing on to our own growth and development as an author and creator. That is a very different story. Right? We really just want to be careful about being passive. We had a question about, well, can I talk about riding my electric skateboard? And you know, how I think about things when I'm on that? And my answer to that is, that's a great start. Right?
But then what do you do with those thoughts? If it's just about quiet contemplation, then that doesn't really inform us about you, it doesn't show how that contemplation drives change, right? But if you're talking about, you know, when I need to think about an important issue, this is how I do it. And this is how I process that and bring it forward, and this meditative. And this is how it, you know, creates this pattern that I do to work through things, then that's a very different essay, and it's much deeper about you. Another question we get is how to talk about why this school.
And you know, in many cases, there are two types of essays supplement questions around why school, many schools will ask you, you know, how do you plan to get involved in the community or how does your community inform your activity and participation as a student, and that's talking about the extracurriculars is talking about your background that might be any part of your identity that you feel is important, right? But we can't just state the identity, right?
So if a student is a member of the LGBTQ-plus community, for example, All, we don't just want to state that right, we want to talk about how we've involved ourselves in that community, currently, and ways with which we want to become involved at the university, right? And we want to talk about other things, right? We want to tie it to current interests at the same time, it's fine to say, Oh, you guys are in the Pacific Northwest, you have a rock climbing club, and I've never been able to go rock climbing. I grew up in New York City, The closest I ever got was, you know, rock gym, but it's not the same.
So I really want to learn about that, right? Why school for academics, really understanding your path, you know, how are you going to get the degrees that you're talking about? What are the particular professors, conferences, and classes that interest you engage you, and make sense in your progression? Right, it's fine to show if you have the room and some intellectual curiosity.
So Cornell, for example, has a very long like 650-word, academic essay, right? How you're going to learn at Cornell. And so there, you have a lot more latitude to talk about, you know, yes, you know, I want to be an architect. But I also want to take classes in business, because I don't want to just be a conceptual architect, I really want to understand how to take my ideas and create them and build them. Right. So we want to use the space available, a lot of these essays are maybe 250 words. And so you're really going to have to drill down and extract the essence of what you want to talk about. And really, abbreviation here is your friend, you don't need to use the professor's full name, you can use abbreviations, you can use course abbreviations, and the readers are smart trust that they will understand what you are talking about in that essay.
But again, you have to make it count, you have to make every word count, you can get right to the point and walk them through the arc of your academic experience and extracurricular experience at that particular school. A lot of questions we get are about cultural norms or religion. You know, is it okay to talk about this? And what I would say is that if it is a major part of your life and your experience, then certainly it's something we can bring in. Right? So talking about faith, for example, is great if you are involved in your church, or mosque, or synagogue, right? Are you working with younger members? Are you doing outreach? Are you helping the elderly? For example, are you leading classes, and fundraisers, but if it's just an aspect of your faith, that's fine, right? And that's a part of who you are. And certainly, you can talk about that.
But it wouldn't overly rely on it, because then you're just talking about something that is. And I'll use the word passive here, right? Not that faith in and of itself is passive, but it's just a part of you that is for you. And unless we're relating that out to specific things that we've done, it loses its impact. Same thing with cultural norms, we have students coming from cultures where family time, or you know, involvement in family activities is very important. And that's great. And you can talk about that, right? But again, that can't be the only thing that we're doing, right? Because then it's something that we're hiding behind.
And also we want to talk about how those values go out. And they inform other areas of our life, and how we're bringing those family and cultural values to university. Okay, so if let's say, you know, your family every Sunday, it's very important. Everybody gets together, you have a large, extended family. It's noisy, it's boisterous, it's loud, you're helping cook, it's a big part of your culture. Great. Well, do you organize something similar for your friends? Do you bring your friends? Is that something? Is there a club at the school that you're applying to? Can you start a club, right, like a club where people gather over food share experiences, and create a larger extended family?
So these are ways that you want to frame things that are more than just about you. We also get a lot of questions about ranking, class ranking, and GPA. The common app is very specific about what it wants you to do with that it asks you not to calculate your own GPA. You know, there are a lot of options there where you can state your scores. If you have a GPA, great if you don't great. The universities are very familiar with the different grading systems and your school counselor. There's a section in their recommendation where they can talk about the grading system at the school.
So don't try and calculate your own GPA. If you have a class ranking great. If your class is not ranked, just check. It's not ranked. That's very common with a lot of schools. It's absolutely not going to count against you. And so don't worry about that too much. So finally, you know, I've used a lot of examples here. I've talked about a lot of things I want to close on and I thought were a very good example from the comment section on our tic tock account. And the question was, you know, what about, can I talk about my father, who used to take me with him to vote and talk to me about the importance of voting? And I wrote back and I said, you know, it's an interesting start to his story.
But where did it go from there? And this person said, Oh, well, it interested me in politics. And so I got involved, I do voter drives, I created a politics club at my school to debate current issues and raise awareness, the importance of voting, inform my classmates about current events, current topics, current bills up for debate, and how it would affect them. And so that to me, that's a great story, right? Because it shows a progression, it shows the root of that, right, the father, bringing this, this applicant along, teaching them the value, the importance of democracy, of voting of having a voice, and then doing something with that, right. That's a big difference from just oh, I used to go with my father to vote. And now I really, you know, I think it's very important, right?
So I hope we see the difference there. And see how things, you know, can develop and how something small like that. And by small, I don't mean to diminish it in any way, right? Again, we're not talking about this is not Greta tunberg, who is speaking to the UN, right, but this is a young person who is passionate about something who is sharing that passion who is getting involved, right, who is driving change at their own individual level.
And that is interesting. That's a compelling story to where you say, Oh, this is somebody who's going to come to our school to our university and get involved and not be passive and stand up for what they believe in. So thank you for the questions. Please continue to comment, and continue to ask questions. I love it. I love being able to tear down false ideas. There are so many false narratives out there. There's so much bad advice. I don't think I think well-meaning bad advice. But please put those questions in the comments. Please. If you see something in the comments, you know, jump in. We have great interaction in the comments with students talking to each other. And that's been fantastic.
So good luck as we really turn the corner. We've got about six weeks left to early decisions and early action deadlines. I know that the heat is turning up and I know also that you will do great.
